The Worst Story Never Told

About an hour ago, while packing up for my trip back to Lubbock, I felt something. Something ancient and mystical, calling me.

"Child," it said to me. "Grown one, wisened one, keeper of stories and teller of tales." It used many names and titles.

I turned toward the call, my eyes resting on a small cabinet beside my bed.

"Open me, find me, release me," it implored. Who am I to disobey such a call?

Inside, admist several folders, binders, notebooks and GameBoy game manuals, a thin, manilla envelope shone brightly in the darkness.

Inside that envelope, I found a single page... of the worst piece of fiction ever created.

(Yes, Young Inklings, that's counting certain stories about talking snakes and detective stories that take place in the future.)

I know not when this page was created - it had to have been 1st, 2nd, or 3rd grade - or the full extent on the evils it could unleash on the world, but regardless, I submit it to you now for your personal enjoyment. It is raw, unedited, and unfinished. The beginning to what I just KNEW was going to be an epic.

Even then, I apparently dreamed big. Foolish young writer.

What I may find funniest is that for some reason I gave this story an ESRB rating (you know, the folks that rate video games with stuff like, "M for Mature") of "Kids To Adults," which came before the now-standard "E for Everyone." Why a book would have been rated by the ESRB I have no idea, but I felt it important to specify what age this story was appropriate for, I guess.

So without further ado, I present to you the unedited Page 1 of "The Game."

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The Game

Kids To Adults

Book One

CHAPTER ONE

It was a very peaceful day at Kimberlin Academy. Three kids Matt,Britton,and Shawn,best friends were in the most boring class ever. MATH! " Now your homwork is W9 all stars. and mult. chart 5 times 2-12s." " I can't wait till schools out." Britton said. " Oh! Time for lunch class." Mrs.Clayton said." Thank goodnes. Mathew said." Today is so boring,next we are pobly going to watch BALTO! Lunch wasn't much fun either. Ok silent lunch. If one more thing bad happens i'm gonna scream! Ok mr. Nararater I'm taking over. Hi I'm Britton peele. I did scream, I got detention for it but I did it. At home I got my nintendo power magazine! I started a club called GAME BROS. we are gonna make nintendo games. I guess that's what caused it. Somehow we were chosen to guard this super computer thing from this guy named the king of electronics.We were told that if the computer was destroyed the king could destroy the world! I took the job.

It's not an easy job.Most of the time the king makes it like the level of a game.Thats why this story is called the game.Here is my computer Acer.

Hello reader,analyzing Misson Status!

MISSON STATUS:

Destroy all enemy spacecraft in range.

Destroy main reacter core.

Destroy king.

Survive.

WARNING!WARNING!WARNING!

DANGER ZONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Area contains unknown liformes including DEADLY robots.

Thanks Ace, Your a big help.Now back to the story.It's a descent were doing and we need tools.Acer send them to us.Acer is voice actavated!Now about the princes,PRINCES ASPEN and her crew!A deadly old freind who went mentle.The wako in the Danger Zone!

ENEMY LIST:

Aspen:VERY DANGEROUS

Erika:Dangerous

Emily:Super puny

King:ULTRA DANGEROUS

Amber:puny

AND TOO MANY MORE TO NAME!

Thanks Ace!

Acer has a best freind name Mac.Matt's computer.

He helps a lot too!

We have suits for the game also.Got that?

Enough about what we have and the bad guys lets get back to the story.Anyway,every night we have these nightmars and have to survive.This story is about our first adventure!

[NOTE: Here I later scribbled down with a pen:]THE DREAM STARTS NOW!

CHAPTER 2

The Begining

"Is it over! "Matt said after a hard battle with Erika. "Yeah, I

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And there, unfortunately, is where the page ends. Subsequent pages (I use the plural, even though I'm thinking there was only ever one other page) are unfortunately missing, lost forever in the void of bad fiction, which is likely for the best.

It is not known whether or not we ever completed our "misson." Or why on earth I thought it would be a good idea to name my hated enemies after all the girls me and my friends had crushes on. Or why our "first adventure" begins immediately after a battle. Or whether Aspen was a princess or several princes fused together to form a... woman?

So many questions unanswered... This was the beginning of a deep plot, guys.

I do seem to recall that the backstory for the "King" involved him being a teenager that was playing an arcade game one day when lightning struck the machine and zapped him into "The Game," where he created the nightmare world that we had to fight in.

So epic, man.

I kind of want to rewrite this, you know, to see if I've improved at all.

If I find any other old pieces of crap, maybe I'll share them as well. But unfortunately I think most of my other old writing was only saved electronically, and was lost in various computer transitions.

That may actually be a good thing.